THE QUIETING RESPONSE
                                      from
                                  Digna Cassens
        
             When you feel stressed...when you feel the SKAZIES (this
        could be any word you choose - that's the one Austin chose)
        coming on, remember to do your "Q.R."
        
        1. Notice what is stressing you out.
        2. Take a slow, easy, deep (diaphragmatic) breath.
        3. As you slowly breath out, let all your muscles relax.
        4. Sparkle smile inside, and say to yourself
                "I AM CALM & IN CONTROL".
        5. Continue with what you were doing in a calm, quiet way.
        
        Q.R. PRACTICE DIARY:
        
        1. a) I practiced my Q.R. today ...............and/or...
           b) I spent 5 to 10 minutes relaxing today
        
        2. Before I relaxed I felt:
                a) happy
                b) stressed
                c) sad
                d) callm
                e) mad
                f) other
          (for young children, use cartoons/drawings/graphics)
        
        3. After I relaxed I felt:
                a) SUPER!!
                b) No change
        
        
        MUSCLE MAN: (to use when you're really mad or really, really
        stressed out)
        
        1. Tighten your arms...........................RELAX
        
        2. Tighten your shoulders......................RELAX
        
        3. Tense your back...........................  RELAX
        
        4. Tense your stomach..........................RELAX
        
        5. Tense your legs.............................RELAX
        
        6. Tense all your muscles......................RELAX & DO A Q.R.
        
        To help younger children or those who cannot separate different
        kinds of feelings:
        
        ANGER                                   CALM
        
        Tense                                   Relaxed (Q.R. & Muscle
        Man)
        Fighting                                        Walk away -
                                                   don't get in trouble
        Loud voice                              Ignore them -
        Mad face                                        Smile &
                                                   sparkle inside
        
        How to say "I don't want to" and not get in trouble (working on
        nice ways to
        refuse)
        
        NOT GOOD TO:                    BETTER:
        
        Run away                        Could I please do this later?
        Yell NO                         Would you help me do it?
        
        (The trick to success here is to agree to wait or help when asked
        nicely, and pretty soon that becomes the norm).
        
        HOW TO COPE:
        
        PROBLEM                 WHAT TO DO
        
        Kids bugging me or picking on me        Ignore them
                                       Walk away & find someone more fun
                                        Tell teacher/mom/sitter
        
        My brother (sister) is bothering me     Find an adult to be near  
                                                you
           or being mean to me          Move away and do something else
        
        
        I get angry & feel like hitting someone Take time out to calm
        down
           or screaming & yelling               Go outside & play
        kickball (or favorite
        active game) to get rid of energy
                                        Go to your safe room and scream,
        beat a
        pillow
        
        Every person should have a "safe room" where they can scream,
        cry, storm, kick,curse, in privacy & safety - the only rules
        should be (1) "do not destroy property or hurt yourself" and (2)
        *no intrusions*.
        
        This is effective for children as well as adults.  If you have
        graphics capabilities, this will make a terrific flow chart.